Posts Tagged With: life

Transition, Move, Save Home

I’ve three goals in my life:

Saving family home, the only home we have, from mortgage debt kicking us out. My parents are sickly, and they do all they can, but it’s not enough even with all I have. Mother just recently dug herself out of the grasp of cancer, and my father is diabetic, obese, and just plain ol old. They’re good people, but that’s why banks are so hard on their backs.

Moving out, preferably out of the country, and gaining a citizenship of some place else. In my language baggage I have English and German, and Scotland is very welcoming, so that’s my first option. The reason for this is also a third reason for this fundraiser.

I need, and I cannot stress it more than I NEED to start transitioning before I went mad. I have severe case of manic depression, and it slowly kills me. On top of it, I’m a transgender. The first I ever realized I’m not insane and this is a thing was late in my teenage years. Truly late. I really thought I should just be in mental institution, and tried often and hard to… End it. When I actually realized this is a thing, that there are such people, and that my brain is in tact – I felt nothing less from bliss. And even now in the darkest spells of depression, this is one of the very rare things that can help me get back on track: one day I might be whole.

So now that you got through short versions, here’s the long versions and a bonus:

Saving Home / Transition / Art Commissions, anyone?

P.S. Apologies for lack of pictures. It’s internet, and if there’s ever “before and after” of me on it, I wish it to be on my own terms, and not some malicious individual.

Categories: About Msg2TheMing, Creations, Little Joys, My Work, The Afterlife, Treasures | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Get me out of here!

So. I call myself Quinn or Soukyan, as you prefer. I’m almost 26 now, living with my parents and manic depression. That one’s an arse. It comes and it goes. It’s unicorns and roses when it’s gone. But when it comes back – I dream of dying, disappearing.

Yet my depression is not as bad as my surroundings. Heck, I’m sure they’re fueling my depression. My sister is a bully, a religious bigot, a homophobe, racist, hypocrite, and just a selfish brat (she’s 32) who literally screams and cries if things aren’t her way. She bullies me worse than anyone else ever did nearly every day. She scolds our mother, often pushing her to tears (hit her once!! her own mother! she hit me once, but heck, I hit her back, so that won’t happen again, but our mother?!). And father just does nothing and grows sicker every day, so that’s that.

Some years ago we ended up in a lot of debt, most of it thanks to my sister and her desire to be better than everyone, in hopes people will like her more. I worked ten years, freelanced as translator, illustrator, worked in factories (packing, preparing produce) and so on. But it wasn’t enough. It’s 4 debts, each one about 5500 euros. And I don’t think that I can afford spending another 10 years on them.

So, I worked all that shit just to have my health fail, and my depression grow. I lead a double-life, since my parents and sister are against everything that I am (my mental gender, my religious views, etc). My wisdom tooth is growing sideways and hurts my whole jaw. My blood is not clotting, so they can’t perform a surgery. My blood pressure is out of control, and nosebleeds with poorly clotting blood equals waterfalls.

Right now I can’t afford a bus ticket to capital city, but if anyone’s willing to help me out a little – I’m willing to give this one more fight and push. I took all the contracts for the debts. If I can pay them off, I can have the apartment signed in my name, and sister will never get it (her little daughter can, tho, if she wants it when she’s old enough). And then, then at last I can move out and start my own life. Get my health back in order, and fulfill my life-time dream – become a true book translator.

Here’s my fundraiser, if you know nothing about me and therefor don’t trust me: [Dreams of Future]
There’s a donation button for paypal in my [Blog] if you do trust me and my story.
And then there’s two ways to help me without my ego feeling a kick in the nuts too: [Ebay] ; [Etsy] – I can’t upload everything there, since it’s a bit expensive, but you can find all things down here [CrowleyEmporium] and just email me via:

Categories: The Afterlife | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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