log | go get some tea

Did you get some tea to sip? Go get it if you haven’t, I’ll wait…

Alright. What kind of tea you got? I’m drinking one from Germany, with, I believe, wild raspberries. It’s very nice. Other than that, how was your day? Or just the whole week? (no, really, comment me about it, or even email me somewhere)

The week here was hectic to say the least. Lots of nonsenses, bothers, anxiety, and other pests in my head and soul. But not all is bad. There were lots of good things too. It’s just much harder to notice those good ones when things seem to fall, aint it?

My monstera plant, for instance, has given me a brand new leaf, and this one’s bigger than my head. I think she likes it here, with me, and that makes me happy all in itself. Someday, when she has many leaves, I will cut one off to press-dry and frame it. That kind of art might just be my favorite.

Then, my fried asian-style chicken really worked. I don’t particularly enjoy cooking, but I’m pretty good at it, since I both follow the directions given, and can adjust on the spot if the taste’s aint right. Sauce, modified from original that had garlic in it, that I can’t have, worked so well, that I have pre-made a whole for later use. And, speaking of food, today I’ve received a parcel from Germany (yes, that’s where the tea came from), that had so many teas in it! I’m on my third cup, might have another one, we’ll see. There were also sweets in there, among which was this vegan chocolate, and I absolutely love it (I’m trying to replace all I can with vegetarian or vegan options, because giving a little bit is better than giving none, I feel). But most importantly, it had a wonderful postcard!

You likely don’t know this about me… Or, well, you actually might, but I really, truly love receiving postcards. I have a whole stack sitting there, waiting for some album or a wall that I’ll someday dedicate to this glory from all over the world. Friends in strange places, friends in travels, friends just going about their business, I appreciate when they think of me upon finding a nice postcard. It’s just the best.

Do you like postcards? And, do you ever just feel overwhelmed when you start writing postcards? Or even just buying them… Because this person should really get one, and that person should really get one, and, oh, I really can’t forget this wonderful soul… Next thing you know, you’re home, having written a stack, and you’re three short anyway, heh.

-post from personal blog | Ego Noctis

ED | Redbull Summer Edition: Cactus Fruit

I’ve recently learned that future flavors of energy drinks in Lithuania can be spotted sooner by following German social media of said drinks. So I was, patiently awaiting the Summer Edition of Redbull, the Cactus Fruit.

In a darker shade of green with red letters indicating the Cactus Fruit flavor, and a similar red shade of liquid inside, this Redbull is not as daring as the few previous we had, not as unusual as all of those combinations. But it’s interesting and worth a try anyway.

It may not be mind blowing or even very good if you’re not into this type of sweet and sour combo, but it serves well to remind of warmer days and warmer places. For me, at least.

Verdict:
4 out of 5, will drink more once replaying Shadow of Tomb Raider.

| Personal Blog xx

log | So, furniture

You know what I really, truly love, with no sarcasm or exaggeration? I love putting furniture together. No matter if it’s Ikea or unknown brand, as long as you give me all the pieces, all the screws, washers, nuts, bolts, nails, planks, boards, and so on, I will probably love the process.

So why there’s no book review today, eh?

Because I have received a massive birthday gift. My birthday is on December 14th (I accept ko-fi’s, yes), but a gang of friends came together and gave me by dream piece. It’s a sort of storage-unit, but more. It got a closet, a table, a book shelf section, and an upper, glorious little piece, that connects it all together with those little shelves that I always need more of.

And so today is day two as I’m putting it together. Mostly because that room is very cold, and as an old old man I keep feeling this chill set in my bones (nothing hot shower doesn’t fix). And partially because it’s quite a bit of work. But most importantly, it is because this way, making one part at a time, I can have another day of this.

The plan is to make it the art station. My smithy for jewelry, my painting nook, and my digital art station. Because this unit wasn’t the only gift, but about the second part… I’ll show you later.

What are your feelings towards assembling furniture?

promo | Your Own Bookmark

Do you use metal bookmarks? Or maybe you have some fancy ones, knitted, made of wood? Do you prefer the paper ones that come with the book mail? Or do you just use whatever’s at hand in the moment?

I used to collect things I found in library books that clearly served people as bookmarks. From pieces of boxes, to cards, to calendars…

While not often, I make unique bookmarks myself, on a metal base, with miniature painting on a cabochon. I even accept commissions like the one above, a customized request fitting yours or your most loved ones taste. With holidays coming up, might just solve the headache of what to get your bookish friend!

(I’ve limited time and resources, so please do hurry if you want a commissioned one! jrv.soukyan@gmail.com)

Etsy ][ Art IG

tag | The Enola Holmes Book Tag

I have watched the beautiful movie Enola Holmes on Netflix a little while ago and recommended it to everyone. It’s simple enough to day-watch, complex enough to keep you watching and is generally filled with good mood and interesting plot. So here’s my thanks to @bellerosereads for making a tag out of it!

Rules

1. List the rules and the prompts of the tag in your post
2. Thank the person who tagged you and pingback to their post
3. Give credits to the creator of the tag, Bellerose Reads, and pingback to her post.
4. Tag at least 5 people to do the tag.

Prompts

1. Enola Holmes – An independent and smart female protagonist

While there’s many, I think I have to choose the first one that truly stuck out to me. The seemingly “dumb blonde waitress”, but in truth, an independent and smart woman who took no shit. Sookie Stackhouse from Charlaine Harris “True Blood“ series.

2. Sherlock Holmes – You’re favorite mystery/thriller book

Hands down must be Roger Hobbs “Ghostman“ duology. It is told from the point view of a criminal and hooked me almost instantly. Sadly author died of an overdose and so we’ll never get any more of this greatness.

3. Eudoria Holmes – A character that defies the rules of their society

Lucien Vaudrey from “A Charm of Magpies“ by my beloved K.J. Charles. Returned from Shanghai where he spent his teen years and then some, Lucien finds it a bit hard to deal with English stuck-up-ness.
(painting credit: myself)

4. Mycroft Holmes – The most annoying character you know

There’s so many, I can’t even. The most recent ones I can name was the protagonist from “Indebted” by J.L. Beck and Marcus from “How to Vex A Vampire” by Alice Winters.

5. Lord Tewksbury – A character you want to protect at all costs

Rhy from “Shades of Magic” by V.E. Schwab. These books reminded me how wonderful reading can be. And Rhy made me realize that not all characters in this genre must be the same. Some can absolutely think like adults and act with their brains, not just emotions.
(painting credit: myself)

6. Inspector Lestrade – A loyal side character

Buttercup. Dandelion. Jaskier. Whatever name you know him by, the bard was by Geralt’s side when it mattered through whatever Witcher saga story by A. Sapkowski you’d pick up. I liked him in books, I enjoyed him in games, and I loved him in the series.

7. Miss Harrison – A book that aged like milk

William Gibson’s “Blue Ant“ trilogy. And probably many more books. Many classics, in fact, aged and soured and are now nasty to look upon.

8. Linthorn – A book or character you hated from the very beginning

Many of these too. But the one I can recall the best due to constant reminders left and right (often by poor judgement of first-book-only reads) would be Tamlin from “A Court of Thorns and Roses“ series by Sarah J. Maas.

9. Edith – Your favorite book with Black rep

This instant it would be “A Song of Wraiths and Ruin” by Roseanne A. Brown. Amazing fantasy peace inspired by West Africa folklore. I can’t recommend it enough.

copy/paste:

1. Enola Holmes – An independent and smart female protagonist
2. Sherlock Holmes – You’re favorite mystery/thriller book
3. Eudoria Holmes – A character that defies the rules of their society
4. Mycroft Holmes – The most annoying character you know
5. Lord Tewksbury – A character you want to protect at all costs
6. Inspector Lestrade – A loyal side character
7. Miss Harrison – A book that aged like milk
8. Linthorn – A book or character you hated from the very beginning
9. Edith – Your favorite book with Black rep

If you read this far – YOU’RE TAGGED!

promo | Postcards, Stickers and More!

Don’t know about you, but in my small town, I’m having problems finding any nice unique postcards to send to friends. But apparently I’ve solved my own problem. And I might solve yours too!

Over at my Redbubble I’ve quite a few lovely designs for many occasions or none at all! There’s postcards, greeting cards, stickers, notebooks, journals, masks, and many other things. Stickers, just saying, look great on laptop.

Show some love to your friends and your artists as the Holidays crawl closer!

Redbubble ][ Art IG

promo | Summer Season, Moods of Life

Just a small little preview of an updated Summer Season; Moods of Life collection, a fantasy treasure trove, full of herbs, flowers, bits and pieces of nature, and even bits of quartz there and here. For all your elven, fae, and other otherwordly hearts.

Etsy][ Patreon][ KoFi][ IG

 

promo | Birth of the White Rabbit

Birth of the White Rabbit, destined to overthrow the whole monarchy of Wonderland.

As Rabbit constellation rose, Boobun’s third eye opened in the fae circle, hence he was able to follow the paths unseen and unknown, finding Alice and leading her into the heart of all wonders. To defeat the Red Queen, but not to stop there…

Redbubble ][ Patreon

(for promo of your page/work, see pages above)

 

I don’t know how to go on, therefore…

I will simply go on.

It’s strange beyond words. And the hurt is beyond words too. But I can’t sit there, numb, staring at the strangely empty room, thinking how the man, my father, who lived here for all my 30 years of life, is gone, and will never, ever come back.

So I’ll try to just write as before. I will try to work as before. And be as before. With hopes that this wrecking feeling will stop, somehow.

If you’re a parent, it is your absolute duty and responsibility to take care of yourself. Quit the bad habits, exercise a little, figure out how to eat healthier. The pain is absolutely impossible. Don’t do this to your kids. Any day can be the last, it’s your damn job to try and make it to the next one, alive and well.

Yes, my father’s cancer could’ve probably be found sooner. Maybe if he pushed himself to visit the doctors, get tested more. Maybe if he pushed the doctors to test him more when this or that ached and they waved it away as part of type II diabetes. Maybe if the damn doctors cared a little more about the job they do, about the people who depend on them… But that’s all “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve”. Instead now I have a grave to visit, and a home to support, and pain to deal with, with little to no time to grieve. I can’t even breathe writing this…

Rest in Peace, dad

My father’s short cancer story

I didn’t plan to write this here, but I feel like it would be best I explained why the upcoming few months might be sporadic. This is the first entry, the second one is here: Cancer Logs 1

My father is on life support. He’s still talking, but things he’s saying aren’t coherent or make much contextual sense. Cancers spreading through his body are eating him up. And all I hope for is that he’s on good enough meds to make it not hurt anymore.

He’s been sick for a while, but our local hospital is not worth the toenails of the people they’re “treating”, and I will absolutely get vocal about it once this situation ends. There were many instances where they found blood where blood was not supposed to be, and he complained about stomach aches, kidney pains, and things like that (like persistent cough) for a while now. So they knew. And they chose to leave it at “ah, he has type II diabetes, must be complications, let’s change up the meds and see what happens”. This would inevitably grow worse, family doctor would get frustrated with our instance on check-ups, and pass him onto another one. He changed several, for none wanted the work this man was.

On June 18th I woke up to voices of strangers in my home. Mum has called an ambulance, and what an insolent woman came. She checked his vitals, told us he’s fine, even though he couldn’t get up, and was bed-ridden for three months. Then grated our asses for waiting this long: we didn’t. We called ambulance time and time again. We called family doctor and begged for a home visitation. None happened. Ambulance would come, check vitals, and ignore the pain this man was talking nonsense about. What pain if your vitals are fine, right?

After what was an extended arguing between this woman I don’t wish to call a medic, this ambulance driver, she finally agreed to take him in, and we had to carry the 100 kilos weighting man who couldn’t walk – down two flights of stairs and into the ambulance, because this woman came alone, unprepared, and near-rolling her eyes said “well, help him in, -I- can’t carry him!”

An hour in ER, with nurses and staff flocking around coffee machine and just watching the circus we wait for anyone at all. Father is starting to turn this human shade of purple-red, and is very clearly fainting. Mum screams, they rush in with the bed on wheels, and as we, yes, still mum and I, lift him into it – he faints.

Days go by, we bring him clothes and cool water or mineral water to drink, just to get told he’s fine, he’s talking, he’s laughing, vitals are good. Until at last we find his doctor’s number and ask her about it: his stomach is getting soft, there’s liquid in one of his lungs (the same he complained hurts really bad, to a point where he would only lay on his other side), but otherwise he’s fine. Do you feel my rage yet?

Again, days go by, there’s absolutely no filling of his medical file that we have access to as family online, so we call again. This time we’re answered by a different family doctor: yet another one quit the man who needed more help than just a prescription. This one too said he’s sick but he’s fine, just in more words.

June 29th father calls (he called almost every day to just generally talk a little bit, and so we followed the progress of him losing coherence, for he made less and less sense), and this is the last somewhat clear chat we have with him. He says, and I quite: bring me some clothes to change in, smaller t-shirt than the ones I have, they’re taking me to Vilnius (Lithuania’s Capital) for surgery.

We rush in, give him everything, BEG for nurses to give us his old clothes for washing, because we’re running out of his clothes by now, and go home to wait again. Due to covid-19 situation, people, visitors, aren’t yet allowed.

June 30th they take another Covid test, which is 24hrs, and on July 1st nurse calls us, urgently, to bring him clothes to change in, they’re taking him to Vilnius. There’s urgency in the air. As we’re lifting him out of wheel chair into the ambulance, he falls down and the four of us barely lift him up, barely conscious by now.

Since then he calls us every morning, very early, and says the same line: bring me some cold soda, would you? We kindly ask him where he lays (since such information isn’t necessarily available even to family member, and we need to write it on the bag for nurses to take it to him), and he, in a serious child tone says: I will find out and call you back.

He never does, of course, and likely soon forgets all about it, being on many meds, stress, pain relievers, and being generally very, very weak.

Today (July 3rd) we called in again, and got told that metastasis is spreading through his body, rapidly, and that no, we can’t, and absolutely shouldn’t bring him any drinks, he’s on the primer life support. It’s a matter of time now, but they’re doing all they can, which is seemingly more than Elektrenai ever did, to allow him as much time as they can. They took him to Vilnius and accepted that he’s not “all fine, talking, laughing with the nurses” after around 5th day of him not being able to hold down any food at all. And so I pray, I hope, I wish, that he’s at least on meds enough now not to feel the pain he was in for months, all while his vitals, blood pressure and such, were good, and therefore nobody besides his immediate family gave a damn.

I myself am preparing for the worst, because now everything falls on me. My mother, our home, even my older sister, they’re all on me. Together with what hospital bills there might be, the trips to Vilnius that we are taking sparingly, because 50km by bus is both a bit pricey and dangerous what with pandemic still being active. And the future funeral.

Some of you know me already, and know what hell I’ve gone through already. Please know right now I’m entering another circle of it. Maybe the last one, one can only hope. And so I beg of you, if anyone can help somehow, be it money or advice, a share or a kind word, any and all would be appreciated beyond what I can put into words. I’m numb from the pain that comes from the very core of a child’s soul when one is losing a parent, when one knows they can do nothing to save this parent. Whatever he was, however he was, he deserved better than this.

Don’t feel obliged, but if you got something to spare, both I and my mother would appreciate it