Books: Funny!

book review | Fat Vampire by Johnny B. Truant | Vampire lit.

fat vampire johnny b truantAuthor: Johnny B. Truant
Title: Fat Vampire
Series: Fat Vampire 1
Genre: Vampires; Humor
Pages: 196
Rate: 4/5 | Goodreads

Ah, there it is, the “Fat Vampire” that I did want to read, first in the Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant. Though it ends so well it could very well be a stand alone too. I appreciate the non-cliffhanger endings.

About the Book: Reginald never really thought of whether he’d like to be a vampire or not. His days were spent busy trying to survive adult bullies at his job. And they say it gets better after high-school! But even with all that in mind, once given a choice to die or become a vampire, Reginald didn’t hesitate, and made a choice he found himself enjoying greatly: as a vampire he was faster, stronger, and didn’t start dripping sweat by merely moving about. Yet his maker still watched him with a degree of pity for some reason…

Humans who wish to become vampires train martial arts, work out, eat right, just to be their best self, have that muscle memory, all that. And by having to go through a test formed by a vampire council Reginald will soon discover what it’s like being fat in this world of darkness.

My Opinion: Characters felt a little too dull, more like better versions of groupies ready to propel Reginald through the plot. And the jokes were a tad on the dull side. But the plot was clever, well condensed, and had a good pace to it. All in all making it a nice, different afternoon read.

I’m definitely giving this book a very solid 4 out of 5, and I do believe I’ll take me the next book in the series too.

Categories: 4-5, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, Books: Horror, Nosferatu Books, vampires | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

book review | Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story by Adam Rex | humor lit.

fat vampire adam rex book cover blood.jpgAuthor: Adam Rex
Title: Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story
Series: –
Genre: Vampire Literature; Humor
Pages: 324
Rate: 2/5 | Goodreads

There are two books called “Fat Vampire” out there. Adam Rex wasn’t the one I wanted to read. Well, I paid for my mistake, so you don’t have to.

About the Book: Someone has turned a whole bunch of teenagers into vampires. Their new vampire tutors, here to teach them to be predators who don’t put the family to shame, are trying to find out who, but no one can really remember much. Except that boys mostly agree it was a hot foreigner woman. And while these elder vampires chase the wild goose, newly made vampire teens are to deal with being, well, vampire teenagers, drama in school and all that wonderful stuff. Some soon start having doubts about this whole coolness deal of being a vampire tho. Like Dug, who didn’t even grow more than peach fuzz on his face, and was overweight when he turned. And you’re now saying he has to remain this for an eternity?? Is there really no way out?

My Opinion: Plot was greatly lacking. Like a bunch of random teenage sit-com episodes barely strung together by mysterious turn of the teens that the not-turned side saw as mysterious change in those previously uncool people. Author seems it’s funny that teenagers are all dumb and don’t understand anything, but gracefully adds that adults are also dumb and don’t understand anything. Neither sets of jokes were funny, and the mocking of stereotypes made me roll my eyes, so I just hope both of them are still facing forwards. And as for characters? They’re all so painfully two-dimensional, that side-characters might not even existed.

It’s a no from me. A 2 out of 5.

Categories: 2-5, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, Books: Horror, vampires | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

book review | Dead Jack and the Pandemonium Device by James Aquilone | Dead Jack 1

dead jack and the pandemonium device james aquilone book coverAuthor: James Aquilone
Title: Dead Jack and the Pandemonium Device
Series: Dead Jack 1
Genre: Horror Literature, Humor
Pages: 211
Rate: 5/5 | Goodreads

When I saw Dead Jack and the Pandemonium Device by James Aquilone book cover, I knew I’m going to like it. For the same reason I liked Skulduggery Pleasant books: noir vibe with a dead-man for a detective. Dark but simple humor with dirty streaks to it.

About the Book: Jack is a detective in Pandemonium, a realm between life, death, heaven, and hell. He’s pretty good at what he does, even though his partner, a homunculus who one day just moved into the empty cavern of Jack’s skull, would highly disagree: his plans are reckless, poorly thought out, and even deadly. Jack is also a zombie with a fairy dust addiction. According to him, that’s the only thing that keeps the flesh craving at bay. His partner doesn’t necessarily believe that either, but here Jack is. Out of dust, approaching a leprechaun for more. Except instead of dust he gets his ass roasted. And, let’s just say… Leprechaun meat is delicious.

My Opinion: The book consists out of small little mysteries, and one big one that drives the plot, gives back-story, world building, and background to people in Pandemonium, including Jack and his origins of being. There’s plenty of real fun and great things, like mermaids who want to eat you, and pixies who are a bit too big to be pixies, because their mothers were indeed pixies, but their father’s were human men, and nobody wants to ask HOW, nobody. And due to Jack not taking himself too seriously too, we get this great fast paced book full of dark and sometimes a bit vulgar humor, daring plans that somehow work, and heroes in the most unlikely places.

That was a great fun of a book, I can’t wait to put my hands on the second one. This one gets a 5 out of 5.

Categories: 5-5, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, Books: Horror, Books: Supernatural, dark fantasy, Nosferatu Books, Paranormal, zombies | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

book review | The Librarian Meets Dracula by Eda Mueller | The Librarian Series 1

eda mueller the librarian meets dracula humorAuthor: Eda Mueller
Title: The Librarian Meets Dracula
Series: The Librarian Series 1
Genre: Humor, Dracula
Pages: 17
Rate: 4/5 | Goodreads

Spotted “The Librarian Meets Dracula” by Eda Mueller, a random tiny little Dracula book. Decided to read it now, and it was the funniest 20 minutes ever. The book is so bad that it’s actually good.

About the Book: Penelope Shelton is a librarian passionate about her work. She loves books and so one stormy night finds herself alone in need to tidy up and lock up as lightening strikes and leaves her in darkness. Little did she know what adventure awaits her among her beloved books. This time in a form of Count Dracula himself, a vampire who appeared out of nowhere.

My Opinion: Too fast paced and therefore not good, since logic of actions fails. It felt like reading a comedic adult animation where technically there’s one goal only, and all roads lead towards it. And since it’s a series, that’s exactly what it is. But the concept is so amusing, that it’s worth those few minutes you’ll spend reading it. I mean, just imagine: a naughty librarian having a tumble with a different classic gothic character every other night. Tell me that didn’t crack a smile?

I can’t give it a 5, since it’s not good. But it was so amusing I will still give it a solid 4 out of 5.

Categories: 4-5, Books: Dracula, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, vampires | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

book review | Dracula | Hell Freezes Over by John G. Hartness | Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter 4

hell freezes over john hartness quicy harker demon hunter draculaAuthor: John G. Hartness
Title: Hell Freezes Over
Series: Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter 4
Genre: Dracula, Paranormal
Pages: 125
Rate: 5/5 | Goodreads

Not gonna lie, I’ve read this book a while ago (doesn’t apply to patrons, who get reviews same day I read the book), around the same time I finished the previous one in the series. Must say, I’m very happy that “Hell Freezes Over” by John G. Hartness, fourth book in Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter series, is not yet the last one. What will I do after this? Does anyone have any humorous books about vampires to recommend??

About the Book: Someone’s killing entire families with demonic possession. Each time the focal point is a holy object, which speaks volumes of the power this psychopath possesses. And that’s the confusing part. For, you see, magic like that leaves behind traces, demonic corruption. But Quincy can’t find a damn speck of it anywhere!…

My Opinion: Ah, sneaky book is sneaky. To the very last pages I had no clue what was doing this, and then, once shown, I had my doubts on survival rate of the present on scene. The only thing I truly missed in this book was Dracula, of whom there was little. But I guess I can’t complain, since previous book was mostly about him.

As I said before, this book reads the way Supernatural series feels. Don’t get me wrong, there’s little to no similarities in the plot, but it’s similar kind of shallow humor, with bigger, better jokes intertwined, lots of caring for one another while not putting it out there, and so on. Once again, a 5 out of 5 from me. I’ll hit the breaks on reading the next one though, since I figured I really need to spare the good stuff a little more.

Categories: 5-5, Books of Occult, Books of Supernaturals, Books: Dracula, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, Books: Horror, Books: Supernatural, Nosferatu Books, Paranormal, vampires | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

book review | dracula | Hell on Heels by John G. Hartness | Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter 3

hell on heels quincy harker demon hunter john hartness book cover draculaAuthor: John G. Hartness
Title: Hell on Heels
Series: Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter 3
Genre: Dracula, Paranormal
Pages: 90
Rate: 5/5 | Goodreads

It’s amazing how some authors are capable of writing full, funny and well fleshed out books that are this short. I also love Dracula in modern settings, so this is the perfect book. Hell on Heels by John G. Hartness, third book in the Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter series!

About the Book: Someone’s hunting in Uncle Luke’s territory, dramatically turning victims into vampires. It would be an understandable event, just another vampire trying to butt-in on other vampire’s territory. But it just so happens that Uncle Luke is no other than Dracula, Vlad the Impaler himself. And there’s only one idiot ballsy enough to believe he can take on the vampire from books and legends…

My Opinion: This is a very funny and badass book, full of supernatural fights, flawed characters, and exemplary writing style. Seriously if you love vampires, if you love Dracula, but are tired from all the romances, and would rather have something in Supernatural series style, this is it.

Yep, loved it. Can recommend if you just want a funny little break, for it’s like no pages at all, and it gets a firm 5 out of 5 from me.

Categories: 5-5, About Msg2TheMing, Books: Dracula, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, Books: Horror, Books: Supernatural, Dracula: General, Nosferatu Books, Paranormal, vampires, Vlad Dracula III | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

book review |Renegades by Craig Alanson | Expeditionary Force 7

renegades expeditionary force cover craig alanson sci-fiAuthor: Craig Alanson
Title: Renegades
Series: Expeditionary Force 7
Genre: Sci-fi, Military Fiction
Pages: 518
Rate: 5/5 | Goodreads

Man, Craig Alanson is some kind of a banter genius. Seven books into Expeditionary Force, and Renegades is just as good, if not better.

About: Even though the Merry Band of Pirates have saved the Earth yet again, Leaders on Earth are bickering, and met them with suspicion, disdain, mistrust, and determination. Determination to get Joe Bishop off the team, pull together their own teams, and go figure out the current threat. As if they possibly could. Or, as if they could ever possibly get Skippy to cooperate without Joe aboard. But since the threat of enemy coming to finish destructive work on Earth is oh so real indeed, and Joe is not someone who can just sit and wiggle his thumbs… A plan is set in motion. Grand Theft Spaceship, if you please.

Mine: This book is gloriously written. Jokes will get you, banter is amazing, thriller and action will push you off the chair. This time the story-telling was more place-consistent, which I very much prefer. There was no jumping from Merry Band of Pirates to some planet, like Paradise. There were also a few chapters with inanimate objects having a moment, and those killed me. Really, I’d not recommend a cup of tea with this book.

We finally get to see what Elders looked like, and Skippy gets more of his memories from behind the programmed-in wall. Neither of these news are good, for the dread of Rogue AI’s rises yet again. And there’s just too many questions to yet be answered for Skippy the Magnificent.

If you just want to chill a bit with a good, humor and action fueled militaristic fiction type of sci-fi, this is a book for you. No, the whole series is for you. I loved it, 5 out of 5, and now, a long wait for another one. For there really seems to be room for another one.

Categories: 5-5, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, Sci-Fi Books | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

book review | “Packing for Mars” by Mary Roach

Mary Roach Packing for Mars cover bookAuthor: Mary Roach
Title: Packing for Mars
Series: –
Genre: Science Literature, Space
Pages: 334
Rate: 5/5 | Goodreads

Mary Roach is something of a delight for me. Way back in the day I’ve read her book “Stiff“, about corpses, their treatment, use, etc. It was very interesting, informative, and yet hilarious. I couldn’t wrap my head around it of how can a book about dead people be this amusing, and perfectly respectful. So when I came across my favorite topic – Mars, by one of my favorite authors of Science Literature – Mary Roach… Well, here we are.

About: We’ve all seen the glory of being an astronaut. You’re a living star, a pioneer of space, almost as famous as Loki or Thor. We even waved the Moon off in want to explore a real planet: Mars.

So, how is your day? What do you eat? Do you exercise? Do you bathe daily, wash your hair? How often does the Nature Call you to the bathroom? Do you have enough clothes to last you a week without washing them, or do you do your laundry more often? And how are all these things done in zero G, in a cramped little space with little to no privacy?

If all these questions can be solved and optimized then, according to this book, a two year voyage to Mars could begin for a human being too. But it really does mean two years of calories that are varied enough to not drive the crew insane for having to eat the same mush day in and day out in a cramped space with no real privacy, not to mention the question of intimacy. All and more will be answered or at least discussed in this book.

Mine: At times I laughed. Other times I hysterically howled. Mary Roach has finessed the art of tackling the less glorious sides of the topics we all love. No one will really tell you how the first astronauts used the bathroom. Mary Roach requested to use one of those herself, since… Well, it takes very specific adjustments. You’ll likely not hear about the ickier experiments either, like how often must you bathe, how much oils does your body produce, when does it stop producing excess of it. From potential rat birth in space, to, ah, different kind of floaters. Truly, if you ever wanted to be an astronaut, or are curious of this topic, give Mary Roach a chance. The book is amazingly written, you’ll never be left to your own devices. She’ll explain everything, joke with you, lead you through it, give you more details, and you’ll have a hell of a time.

This was a fun read. It added to my previous read, Apollo 8 too, since it touched upon those missions, and that smuggled contraband in form of a beef sandwich. Mary Roach remains among my favorites, so this book gets a 5 out of 5 for sure.

Categories: 5-5, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, Books: NonFiction, Science Books | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

diversity |”The Disasters” by M.K. England

3Author: M.K. England
Title: The Disasters
Series: –
Genre: Sci-fi, LGBT+ Literature
Pages: 253
Rate: 4/5 | Goodreads

Not gonna lie. The cover is all of my vibes, and that was the main reason I picked this book up. Lucky for me, it wasn’t a bad story either, with a lot of real fine characters.

About: They were great at what they aimed for. And yet, they got scratched for this or that nonetheless. So there they were, failed pilots and whatnots, packing their bags to go back home as warning sirens flared and got silenced just as abruptly. In those short moments they had to decide their own fates, and those, as it later turned out, of human colonies. Meet the Swift Kick crew, the most diverse and fiercest little group of misfits any terrorists have ever seen.

Out there there is a terrorist group that calls itself Earth First. Their philosophies all lean on one idea: get rid of the colonies. Some think we should take care of our own planet first. Others believe Earth to be sacred. Either way, they’re up to some murder, and the space station those kids were on? Oh, that was just the start.

Mine: Once again, a mediocre story that you’ve definitely read before under different names, circumstances, titles. But saved by really great and diverse characters. All of the skin colors, all of the sexual orientations. The bisexual guy was actually bi, not just by the title author would slap on to get diversity points. Religions are on board too. One young woman is practicing, and has hijabs to fit a situation. She’s a badass hacker too, and, my favorite, a rebel. And if that’s not yet representing, there’s a transgender woman too. Full, glorious set. The story itself is fast paced. Just as you get through what seemed a longish personal episode, grenades are flying, bullets are whistling. It’s written in real fun speech manner too, no sugarcoating, straight to the point, with no high and mighty phrases. But, as I said, the plot has been chewed on plenty by now. So it’s as predictable as they get, with merely different details.

All in all, I’m going to give it a strong 4 out of 5. It was an easy, fun, fast read. If you feel like supporting diversity in literature, this is one of the books to take and review, I feel.

Categories: 4-5, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, LGBTQ+ Books, Sci-Fi Books | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

detective | “Jackrabbit Smile” by Joe R. Lansdale | Hap and Leonard 12

2Author: Joe R. Lansdale
Title: Jackrabbit Smile
Series: Hap and Leonard 12
Genre: Crime, Thriller
Pages: 256
Rate: 4/5 | Goodreads

So I took a book, I’ve read it, went to goodreads to mark it, and got deja vu. For once again, like in the good old times, I’ve read a hell knows which book in a series. But since I have no plans to read any more of these, it is as it is, and it’ll be fine.

About: Hap and Leonard weren’t all too pleased to accept a job from a white supremacists couple. They came to them as last resort, bringing in a handful of family along, expressed their displeasure of Leonard being black (little did they know, he’s gay too), and their grief over their missing daughter. She disappeared soon after giving birth to a black baby, and they no longer expect to see her alive. They merely want to know what happened.

The town these two go to investigate in is run by white supremacists and crazy folk. Most businesses are owned by a man called Professor, who has his own philosophy of why people of color and whites shouldn’t mix. Church was ran by folk who believed the world will end due to lizard people who live among us. And the mass there was held by a man who wanted to die of a gruesome torture, and seemingly got his final wish fulfilled. So, wherever you turn, there’s a something…

Mine: While the story itself was very mediocre, it’s written very well, and is full of good wit, funny jokes, and strong characters. And I’ve said this time, and time again: a good character can fix any plot. So if you ever need something light, funny, with maybe a little touch of scary shit, due to murder and all that, keep these series in mind. I will too.

I don’t really intend to read any more now, but hey, never say never. This book gets a solid 4 out of 5. I don’t know how those other ones are, but this one was nice and firm, and you can absolutely follow the story, no matter the past books.

Categories: 4-5, Books: Crime, Books: Everything, Books: Funny!, Crime Books, Detective Books, LGBTQ+ Books, Thriller Books | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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