BIRTHDAY SALE! I’m a December baby, to those who don’t know. So in celebration of my birthday to come, I’m giving YOU presents! ❤
I’ve three goals in my life:
Saving family home, the only home we have, from mortgage debt kicking us out. My parents are sickly, and they do all they can, but it’s not enough even with all I have. Mother just recently dug herself out of the grasp of cancer, and my father is diabetic, obese, and just plain ol old. They’re good people, but that’s why banks are so hard on their backs.
Moving out, preferably out of the country, and gaining a citizenship of some place else. In my language baggage I have English and German, and Scotland is very welcoming, so that’s my first option. The reason for this is also a third reason for this fundraiser.
I need, and I cannot stress it more than I NEED to start transitioning before I went mad. I have severe case of manic depression, and it slowly kills me. On top of it, I’m a transgender. The first I ever realized I’m not insane and this is a thing was late in my teenage years. Truly late. I really thought I should just be in mental institution, and tried often and hard to… End it. When I actually realized this is a thing, that there are such people, and that my brain is in tact – I felt nothing less from bliss. And even now in the darkest spells of depression, this is one of the very rare things that can help me get back on track: one day I might be whole.
So now that you got through short versions, here’s the long versions and a bonus:
P.S. Apologies for lack of pictures. It’s internet, and if there’s ever “before and after” of me on it, I wish it to be on my own terms, and not some malicious individual.
Want your favorite character painted, not just printed? Want it painted just for you? Or maybe you wish you had your own painting to show off that beautiful face in a more classic but original style? Or maybe your sibling, even if just for adding “I stink” bubble to it? Well, I got you!
In style you see above I take portrait commissions now
15eu per scan (if you let me upload it on dA, you can order a print from there, I’m okay with it!)
10eu per scan if it’s black and white (or any-color + white)
30eu per me sending you the original + shipping (from 3 to 6 euros should cover it)
20eu per me sending you the black(other-color) and white original + shipping (from 3 to 6 euros should cover it)
Disclaimer: whatever fits in my paper, I might cut off your shoulder, I might cut off some tall hair, be specific about what you want.
A portrait picture sent to me via email@example.com that ought to be drawn. I’ll let you know if the picture is somehow not alright for me. (yes, it can be your fav character from a game / movie / etc., as long as I am capable of it…)
If it’s an original character: look closely at my style and take into consideration that I might not be able to pull off everything as you imagine. Details are welcome!
Head + shoulders only. Unless the body part sticks out (see Deadpool for reference)
Paypal transaction must be possible.
Let me know if I may upload it on dA
So the past week I was busting my ass on work, reading, and <drum rolls> painting. For ten years I fancied myself an artist of this or that sort. Today I realize my painting style is a bit stupid, and in the end I make real childish drawings in general. But I still somehow hope making a living out of it. Why? How? Don’t know. There are worse than me out there who are doing well. And I just thought I deserve some too, yes?
And I did get some. Meaning I painted people I like (as you see they’re not all people, and not all are real people when they are people) and sent it to them. Bunny, aka Grav3yardGirl liked it on Instagram, Reina‘s image was reblogged by SF fan page on Tumblr, Kanadajin3 retweeted hers kindly, and Bree thanked me when doing so. Love these girls, and there’s a few more I must paint too.
What I do is I get into their Instagrams, for these days I feel like people put their images there when they feel their best, and I want to paint what they feel their best, because in my view – they’re great, but from some content these people uploaded, I know they not always feel the same way themselves. I enlarge the picture as much as I can, and just start drawing on a A5 (or is it A6? half of A4) page with a pencil, trying my best to imitate what their beautiful faces look like. As you see I stylize the hair a lot, since I can’t draw hair, and they all have real, like REAL nice hair. So I try doing it justice via what I can do in general. And then I just paint and paint, and paint. I change some things, I change the colors, I get frustrated every time, and then I try to scan it with my piece of trash old scanner. Which leaves me photoshopping the picture into the original color scheme for another half hour or so…
My point is: people work, and people work hard. You see an actor or an entertainer and think “wow, their life is so nice and easy”, but that’s a big fat lie you’re imagining there. And the shit these people cope with I don’t even want to imagine. So if you sit there, on YouTube, writing a new comment, and have a choice of saying “u ugly af ur teeth lik dis” and saying “u pretty af, love what u do” – think of which one of these you’d like to hear, and say the one. Just a drop of kindness goes a very long way.
And speaking of kindness: please check out and if possible, share my mum’s [CancerBattle]; or if you believe in good faith, maybe you’d like to help me run away with my own life with [NoMoreDebts]? Or just check out my [Tumblr], follow, share, like (there’s a donation button there too), or just come chat with me there.
I’m an addict, I admit. I replayed the third game twice, and started a third row around with a different friend. I didn’t play the second one, because I have extreme motion sickness and that game is uncontrollable in the worst sense, but I watched it played on YouTube. I have finished the fourth game once, and began a second round around with the same friend, she’s very patient with me. I don’t yet have other games, but if luck’ll be on my side – there’ll be some good Steam Sales eventually.
The game is definitely a masterpiece of satire, irony, sarcasm, and a few other things I can’t even spell. It mocks many pop-culture things, some – obviously, others – via references that only some will notice. And it just makes me feel so happy inside. The boss? The boss you control is a damn leader. You’re never too small for him to come to your rescue personally. He’s not above getting lip from you. And absolutely up for any mad adventure. And I say “he” because I play a male character as a preference, but you can choose your gender, your race, your built, your character even. You can be a chubby cracker, or a lady with literal balls, and it’s GREAT.
My addictions often seep into Outernet or Afterlife too. I had a Dandy brooch from AC: Black Flag multiplayer character that I made for myself, and thus Fleur De Lis is not a strange symbol to me (I have a conspiracy theory that Boss of Saints is a descendant from that particular Dandy man), so now I’m indulging in the purple shades my good friend Medeia has once sent me, trying to make a more… Manly shade, like Purple for a brooch background. But until then I do simpler things. Like earrings. And dream of deep purple shirt. Hey, that’d fit Joker too. And yes, if you wonder, I did indeed steal a Temptress and painted it purplish pink in Joker’s colors.
Both pairs are available to buy unless I update this and state otherwise. If you can’t find them on either of my sites: please contact me directly via email firstname.lastname@example.org [Etsy] [Ebay] [CrowleyEmporium] [Tumblr]
P.S. [My Own Home?] is one place to help me out a little. Another is the [donation button] in my profile. And third one is sharing. Trust me, it’s definitely help enough.There’s of course the fourth one, my very favorite: you buying things I have made ❤ things are here: [CrowleyEmporium] ; [Ebay] ; [Etsy] – everything’s available unless stated otherwise on Crowley Emporium, it has FULL gallery of things available, unlike Ebay or Etsy
Okay, I admit, I somehow enjoy making these. Probably mostly because it’s a challenge to fill the mold precisely, for it’ll come out all nasty otherwise, incomplete or spilled-over. And then there’s my inability to imagine and project things for myself, meaning if I want to put gold on blue, I will not be able to imagine how it’ll look or what frame would fit it best, so for me it’s one of those chocolate egg treats – there’s a surprise inside when you pop the mold out of the oven.
My favorite must be the black and gold one. It turned out so very very messy, you wouldn’t believe. But I didn’t ditch it, no. I worked it until it turned into something quite nice. Even Petronia [reference goes to Anne Rice’s “Blackwood Farm”, my favorite book in the Vampire Chronicles] wouldn’t scold me for that, I think. besides the fact that I used a mold to make it…
The white-red one is a very personal piece for me. Since teen-hood, as many, I was madly in love with Japan, and then the rest of the Far East and East in general. Dir en Grey, Miyavi, all the regular ones and some less regular ones, like Hide (And the Spread Beaver), Hyde, X Japan, Malice Mizer and so on. It’s a bit sad for me to dwell back on it and see that in more than ten years I haven’t learned the language and the plans to visit Japan aren’t anywhere near fulfillment. But then again, now the internet is more familiar and so I can continue cherishing that little ember that lit up. I was deeply depressed, I needed to cling on something and that helped. Thus the personal piece – a red skeleton lady on a pure white background.
Cream-Black was an experiment and Red-Black was an accident, done with a friend beside me. In a way they’re all somehow special.
The black-black-cream was one of the first ones I made, I think it’s the most classic combination right there. Together with the bat, it was meant and is now sent to my lovely friend in Louisiana. I call her my Vampiress, for she was the reason I got into old movies with Dracula and Nosferatu, and it’s thanks to her purely that I know who Tarquin Blackwood or Petronia is. Those two, thus at the base of it – she, changed me and my life completely. I’m not sure what sort of a creature I’d be now where it not for that girl. I hope she’ll like it.