Ah, I waited so long. And I admit, depression, and general cold has forced me to refuse the first, very early offer I had, and thus as a result I only saw it today (by the time I write this it’ll be yesterday, so pay no attention). I figured, when things are that bad, you might as well give up and swim with it, which in some cases, like my own, isn’t as bad as it sounds, for this time flow went right into the cinema.
So who is Deadpool? Mostly known as “the merc with a mouth” he made an infamous apperance in one of the Wolverine movies, where the only reason character wasn’t forever buried in my opinion was the performance Ryan Reynolds gave us. The man earned my respect, for in my book – improvising Deadpool perfectly equals fate. And since he’s a Marvel comic character, with more than one writer putting hands on this beast – there’s tons of origin stories, some big and considered “one of canon”, others small, and more suitable for peculiar tastes of individuals. But let’s now forget that there’s at least three possible scenarios of why he’s all “testicles with teeth”-faced under that mask, and take the movie for the truth it will become to all those who never laid eyes on the comics.
If taken so, Deadpool is first of all Wade Willson. A bad guy who beats up other bad guys for money. He was never a hero in a sense of “savior”. And he’s not about to become one either! See, in the long run he simply got cancer, well, cancers if we’re keeping it real. And these completely random, super shady guys just offer him a cure. They make super-heroes, they say. Here, have an injection of chemicals that will kill you if we don’t trigger the mutations. And to trigger your mutations we will of course have to stress the living shit out of you. Which, yes, means that we’ll torture you to the point of breaking. And if you do break, well, too bad, cancer would get you otherwise just as well, so take it or leave it. Where’s the real catch? Like without that whole “chemicals” and “torture” thing? These guys ain’t making no super-heroes. They’re making super-slaves, and a collar with Wade’s name on it is prepared.
I hope you’ve seen the movie, because if you didn’t, I just spoiled you a major plot line. If I did – see it anyway, there could be no plot line and movie still would be hilarious. Having got that out of the way: next thing is not a spoiler if you’ve seen trailers and / or posters. They clearly show Deadpool free and running, so no one’s putting a collar on that guy! And, again, they’re not making him a damn hero either! That is unless it’s in the bedroom, and you’re a real hottie, then he might just go down with the collar and some roleplay happily. Which non of those guys really are, so for the sheer attempt to do what they intended to do, Wade accepts his new role as this super-healing factor owning, but still burned up looking horror mask of a face having hero. Not in the “savior” sense, again. He’s not out there to save everyone from these douchebags. Heck, he’s out there to kick their butts for what they did to him (and tried to do)! And it’s glorious.
I am as impressed as I am happy. Sure, trailers, as they do, show way too much shit, but many people practice abstinence from those, so if you’re all bitter about it: try that, much like diet and reading – it can change your life. This movie gets my full thanks and a 5 out of 5. Oh and I used one of the trailer-spoiled parts to go pee, because that’s just that, it was funny, and I drank a lot of tea and soda, I couldn’t risk anything, okay? Okay. Win-win.
Oh, and if you’re curious, my day was pretty much this: After around 24hrs of debates and attempts to make plans, friend came before noon struck on Monday. She had to pick me up, because cinema is about 50km away, and I don’t drive, and because of all the mess I live in – can’t really afford the bus ticket (which is okay, I hate buses a lot, I’ll rather pay her back someday for being so kind and wasting her own gas on my butt). We shopped for groceries, and cooked lunch (she cooked, lest I burn the kitchen down, and it was fcking delicious, I tell you), played some Cards Against Humanity, and then went to one of the closest cinema’s, where movie had to get on 16.20, which wasn’t the case and they told us next one is two hours later. Thinking on our feet, we got up, ran to the car, and drove to another cinema, where we got into the hall half way into trailers. From where on I spent very little time NOT laughing.
P.S. Here’s a picture of her cat named Kysius, which basically means “Kitteh“. He’s a bit human-shy, and a bit nervous, but very kind, and with a very great sense of duty. For even if he doesn’t like pets, he’ll come over and lean his head to you, knowing you just want to touch his magnificent fur, and let you pet him a couple times, after which he runs off for a bit, to de-stress by grooming that gorgeous mane.