So. I call myself Quinn or Soukyan, as you prefer. I’m almost 26 now, living with my parents and manic depression. That one’s an arse. It comes and it goes. It’s unicorns and roses when it’s gone. But when it comes back – I dream of dying, disappearing.
Yet my depression is not as bad as my surroundings. Heck, I’m sure they’re fueling my depression. My sister is a bully, a religious bigot, a homophobe, racist, hypocrite, and just a selfish brat (she’s 32) who literally screams and cries if things aren’t her way. She bullies me worse than anyone else ever did nearly every day. She scolds our mother, often pushing her to tears (hit her once!! her own mother! she hit me once, but heck, I hit her back, so that won’t happen again, but our mother?!). And father just does nothing and grows sicker every day, so that’s that.
Some years ago we ended up in a lot of debt, most of it thanks to my sister and her desire to be better than everyone, in hopes people will like her more. I worked ten years, freelanced as translator, illustrator, worked in factories (packing, preparing produce) and so on. But it wasn’t enough. It’s 4 debts, each one about 5500 euros. And I don’t think that I can afford spending another 10 years on them.
So, I worked all that shit just to have my health fail, and my depression grow. I lead a double-life, since my parents and sister are against everything that I am (my mental gender, my religious views, etc). My wisdom tooth is growing sideways and hurts my whole jaw. My blood is not clotting, so they can’t perform a surgery. My blood pressure is out of control, and nosebleeds with poorly clotting blood equals waterfalls.
Right now I can’t afford a bus ticket to capital city, but if anyone’s willing to help me out a little – I’m willing to give this one more fight and push. I took all the contracts for the debts. If I can pay them off, I can have the apartment signed in my name, and sister will never get it (her little daughter can, tho, if she wants it when she’s old enough). And then, then at last I can move out and start my own life. Get my health back in order, and fulfill my life-time dream – become a true book translator.
Here’s my fundraiser, if you know nothing about me and therefor don’t trust me: [Dreams of Future]
There’s a donation button for paypal in my [Blog] if you do trust me and my story.
And then there’s two ways to help me without my ego feeling a kick in the nuts too: [Ebay] ; [Etsy] – I can’t upload everything there, since it’s a bit expensive, but you can find all things down here [CrowleyEmporium] and just email me via: firstname.lastname@example.org