Dreams of Future

I don’t even know where to start. Long story short – I want to bail out my home and never let the people who took it away from me – do it again.

I’ve been depressed for so many years, I don’t even recall how many. Heck, I don’t remember much from those years as is, for all is dimmed by dark gloom. But I worked from when I was 16 years old, never looking at my hand after I gave all I made away, hoping they’ll do the right thing and pay up what was needed, where it was needed. So I didn’t want to live. But I had means to survive.

Now, I dug myself out of depression. I figured I just need a goal in life. I wanted to study IT or English Philology (since I wish to be a translator/interpreter), but I can’t. I don’t make enough, I can’t get a job out here to make myself a start, nor can I move out without a starter. I want to live but I have no means to survive.

Funny, life, ain’t it? What and why I ask:

1. Medical bills
– My wisdom tooth grows sideways, a piece chipped off and today is 5th day I’m on as much painkillers as I can have without overdosing, since I can’t afford medical bills, and I can see the bare nerve in the tooth. The pain wakes me up. I don’t know how much I can take it.
– Update: this part might be taken care of soon. That is if my blood tests are good, since it wasn’t clotting right and for two months or so I had massive almost daily nosebleeds that just wouldn’t stop. I’ve been given pretty much all the meds for it and was on them for probably two weeks now.

2. Some debts need to be paid up asap.
– I can’t both study and support my family, and without my support – the debts will just grow, since what they make is just not enough, and my parents are old, they can’t work more than they already do. If I could just pay up a couple of the debts, I’d be able to help them and myself.
– Disclaimer: yes, debts aren’t mine per se, but the home is mine, and people who fell into the debts are my family, it’s not their fault. If you want a full story, feel free to write me, it’s not much of a secret.

I hear that kindness is a rare thing, and rarely repaid. But if you’ll care – I’ll care for forever. I want to survive this more than anything. And I fear that I can’t do it without help.

[My Own Home?] is one place to help. Another is the [donation button] in my profile. And third one is sharing. Trust me, it’s definitely help enough.There’s of course the fourth one, my very favorite: you buying things I have made ❤ things are here: [CrowleyEmporium] ; [Ebay] ; [Etsy] – everything’s available unless stated otherwise on Crowley Emporium, it has FULL gallery of things available, unlike Ebay or Etsy 🙂

This is completely optional. And I refuse any help from people who have families of their own to support, children, their own bills, etc. This is my own problem from out of which I should dig myself out. No matter what, I thank you for the time you give me, it’s more than anyone could offer me.

Btw, I draw those little watercolor halloween cards, in donation comments do tell me if you’d like one, I’d then use the address paypal gives me and send you one. I’d be very glad to ❤

Categories: My Work, The Afterlife | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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