A day in life when you try to avoid thinking

  When I wake up, I usually pop the kettle to boil and go wash up. Then, with a large mug of fruity tea that smells of far away countries, with elves roaming about and merchants counting gold coins and possibly flying carpets carrying the goods they mean to sell, I sit down to read. Often I do that on the trainer bike, but on other days, I just sit on the couch I sleep in too. My goal for the day is a 100 pages. Any 20+ pages mean I can treat myself for a video game, a serie of anime or just whatever I wish to do that night. At aroud noon I stop and that’s when my first meal happens. I eat twice a day, as bad as that is. I turn up my laptop at the same time too, sometimes serving myself lunch by a youtube video.


Currently I have a brand new lovely laptop meant to sate my second great love in life – video games. It’s Lenovo IdeaPad Y510P with two graphics cards. Yes, I bought an external dvd-rom because of that. To someone who has Steam and all the games that I used to own in hard copy – on it, I shouldn’t need a rom that much, but I did need it. Mostly because by now, after so many trips to UK without any annoying “friends” by my side, I collected a ton of Dracula dvd’s and the highlight of my guilty-obsessions – Sherlock (BCC, yes). So I did need it.
So, when I turn my laptop on and am done with my lunch-breakfast (I always dreamed to be the person who goes out for brunch with a book at hand and maybe a friend), I fire up this silly browser game on facebook, just because. Reminds me of RuneScape days, altho that one was better and is fairly good now too, with all the fancy new things happening there. I go ahead then and check my DeviantArt, accept art into groups or decline, reply to some comments and leave some more on beautiful, well made art. I move on back to youtube and turn on the videos one after another while browsing Tumblr. Email is last, because usually it demands a lot of responses, questions and answers.
After I’m done with that, I move back to reading, because 100 pages usually is no where near done. I like finishing it all by 5PM, but often that’s but a fancy dream that I nourish with more fancy tea’s. Mostly because I prefer starting all the work at around 5PM, after my second meal. I translate texts, and if they aren’t too big, I’ve plenty of time if I start at 5PM. I try very hard and I enjoy it plenty too. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I work a couple hours a day for my money, no, often enough it keeps me up to 5AM, but I don’t complain. If you work good, people will appreciate it and pay up well, and even come back with other texts they need in the future. Naturally if you translate with Google Translate then you’re probably doing one-time jobs for which people will be angry with you, earning you plenty of shitty Karma points.
If I have no translations, I try to at least come up with an idea for possible jewelry. My books, my games and my dreams lead me to the state of mind that I am in now, where I dream I lived in one of the books, where I could be an elven craftsman and my work would have no equals. So I make jewelry, there’s a link to my etsy on the right. And yes, I’m not good NOW, but heck, if I won’t die or suicide, then I’ll get better. With practice comes perfect. And I enjoy it a plenty. That witchy-piece I made is beautiful. And earrings are strange in their own way. And new Hellsing pendants I made have so much sentimental value, that I don’t even care of the fact that their making can’t even be credited to me, because it’s just THAT easy: take a pic, cut a pic, glue the pic, enamel the pic. Put a chain on it. The red one isn’t for sale btw, only the grey ones, sorry.


I try to be done with work at either 10PM or 11PM, which is when I decide whether I’ve done enough work today to allow myself a bit of gaming, pleasure reading, anime or anything else I might fancy at the time. Often enough I go ahead and cut myself a slack even if I didn’t do enough. Mostly because if I stop – I start thinking of things. I am a very depressed person. And I don’t think you can truly escape it or get cured of it ever. You can subdue it. You can fight it. And eventually you can cage it. But it’s always there. Mine got out of the cage recently, with a lot of force. Enough to break the locks. Situation got even worse when I understood that some of my friends don’t exactly care about it all. They live their lives and I can’t blame them now, can I? Sure, I wish them luck. I hope they’ll be okay forever. But that thing that now roams loose in my gothy little mind mansion giggles every time. I can hear it and I can feel it. And I am alone to fight it or give up. And this little routine is the last thing that helps me not to think of it all. Because like all the people who are depressed – I shouldn’t think of it. That’s the best cure. Avoid that thought. Just avoid it like it’s the devil, the hell, the lava from Mordor. Avoid it no matter what. Hold on for each other, if you can’t hold on for yourself, because when one of us falls – others waver too.

Categories: About Msg2TheMing | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “A day in life when you try to avoid thinking

  1. Wondrerful web site. Lots of useful inf here.
    I’m sending iit to some pals ans als sharing in delicious.
    Andd certainly, thank you for your sweat!

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